Yesterday afternoon my mum dragged me to a lecture about a beauty and health product that her friend got her to go to. Her friend came to pick us up and we got in her car. I sat at the back seats with my little brother and I thought wow the seat feels so comfortable.
A few minutes later as we drove on, the friend got a call, she picked it up on speaker and I heard them talking about picking another person up. Oh please no, I don't want to have to sit in the middle seat at the back!
Then the friend started to tell my mum about going to get someone else and disappointment crept in on my nerves.
As we reached the other person's house, the friend didn't tell me to move or anything so I thought oh that means I don't have to give up the wide, comfortable seat? A little happiness took over the disappointment as the friend stopped the car. But then OMGosh my small feeling of happiness died as a fat lady wearing tons of make up came up to the car and the friend told her to get in the back. NOOOOOOOOO!!! So I was treated like an invisible person, having to move to the middle bumped up uncomfortable seat as the fat lady almost squashed me as she climbed in. She didn't even ask me to please move to the middle and almost sat on me as I struggled with my seatbelt and tried to shuffle quickly aside. Doesn't she have any *beep* manners?! Didn't even say sorry when she bumped into me and almost killed my arm. Fat b**ch.
So as I finally sat down on the middle back seat of the 5 seat car, I looked around for the seatbelt. Safety first. (even though I almost got squashed to death) The fat lady also tried looking for her seatbelt while mum and the friend talked about which way to go.
There I was, sitting in the back of a car on the bumpy uncomfortable middle seat with a fat lady beside me with her huge butt pressing at my hipbone as I tried not to squash my brother on the other side. I finally found my seatbelt (win!) and just as I managed to put it on and plug it in the thingy, the fat lady again bumped into me and again almost killed my arm. (poor arm) It seemed like she still had trouble with her seatbelt so I decided to help and speed up the procedure so we could quickly drive to our destination. Mum and the friend were both waiting in the front as I helped the fat lady look for her seatbelt plug-in thingy. FINALLY it was plugged in and the fat lady shuffled a bit away from me and the friend started driving. (I almost became a flat meatball)
Did I mention the fat lady's good manners? Oh yes, she has PERFECT manners! PERFECT manners that did not even say thank you when I helped her find the plug thingy. PERFECT manners that did not even say sorry when she almost squashed me in to a flat meatball. Just PERFECT.
On the way to the place the lecture was held, I did not even know how I managed to survive countless bumpy roads, countless turns with a fat person leaning onto me, countless stops where I almost flew straight out of the front window. Okay a bit exaggerated, but definitely no exaggeration of this: The fat lady has strong perfume and a loud voice. I literally had to limit my breathing. And she talked on and on about her stupid cruise ride in her annoyingly loud voice that made my ears ring. Not once did she acknowledge the fact that I was there, not once did she even notice that I was struggling to sit straight as her fat arms and butt continuously bumped into me and squashing the breath out of me.
Finally we arrived after 20 minutes and as I got of the car I was panting as if I just ran all the way there with ringing ears. But guess what, nobody even looked at me while everyone's attention were on the fat lady just cos she said something about having motion sickness.
So yeah, that was how my Saturday went.
No comments:
Post a Comment